


Eleven Smegging Times

by constipatedmuse



Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Gen, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28747887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constipatedmuse/pseuds/constipatedmuse
Summary: Rimmer is convinced that he's finally smegged up badly enough to chase you away.
Relationships: Arnold Rimmer/Reader
Kudos: 13





	Eleven Smegging Times

**Author's Note:**

> For a request from theannonomusgamblerpt2 on tumblr

Rimmer blanched at the results on the screen. They couldn't possibly be right.  
The computer had made a mistake.  
…maybe Kryten had tried to clean the computer again.  
Rimmer stood up and began pacing. This made his eleventh failure. He'd bombed his astro navigation exams eleven times. Eleven smegging times.  
And he'd actually studied this time! He'd spent weeks pouring over the books, taking practice tests, and making you quiz him.  
And he'd flunked.  
Well, that's it, isn't it? He'd done a lot of truly stupid things before, but this would be the last straw.  
He'd left you to die on a crumbling simulant ship.  
He'd locked you up in quarantine, just to get back at Lister.  
He'd actually considered leaving you on the Dwarf, just so he could have a body on the _Enlightenment_.  
He'd damn near made off with your body instead of Lister's or Cat's.  
But this was it. He'd wasted your time. He'd wasted your tutoring.  
He wasn't worth it.  
He wasn't worth you.  
He sat back down on his bunk and put his head in his hands.

* * *

That's how you found him a little later, curled up in a ball, facing the wall, trying his best to disappear.  
You sat down next to him. "What's wrong, Arn?" you asked, reaching down to touch his side.  
Your hand went right through him.  
Oh, no. This is very bad. Rimmer only turns off hard light mode when he absolutely has to.  
Or when he's trying to make himself disappear.  
"Talk to me, Arnold."  
He didn't budge.  
You moved closer. "Please talk to me?" you said quietly.  
His eyes flicked up to you for a second, then moved away again.  
"Can you at least turn on hard light mode? I've never quite figured out how to hug you in soft light."  
He didn't say anything, but his light bee made a faint click, and suddenly, he seemed more real. More there.  
You smiled softly. "Thank you… I'm going to scoot in next to you now, okay?"  
He didn't say anything, but he did move back a little, allowing you enough space to slide in.  
You kicked off your shoes and moved into the space he'd vacated, gently wrapping your arm around him and pulling him into your chest.  
Rimmer accepted your comfort gratefully. He started to lose some of his rigidity, gradually putting his arm around your waist and stretching out his long legs to tangle with yours.  
Despite being curious and concerned, you didn't push. You just held him close, running your fingers through his hair. He would talk when he was ready.

* * *

Rimmer couldn't take it anymore. You were so kind, so sweet, so worried about him. He finally screwed up his courage and met your eyes.  
"There he is," you said, dropping your hand from his hair to his cheek. You gently brushed your thumb against his cheekbone.  
He leaned into your hand for a moment, then closed his eyes again. "I failed," he said.  
You furrowed your brow. "Failed what, babe?"  
Mentally bracing himself for your hatred and insults, he quickly mumbled, "My astro navs."  
"Aw, honey, I'm so sorry," you said, continuing to run your thumb across his cheekbone.  
His eyes flew open. "What did you just say?"  
"I said that I'm sorry," you repeated, slightly confused. You managed a small shrug and added, "We'll keep studying, and you'll pass next time."  
Rimmer continued to stare at you.  
"Arnold? Are you okay?"  
"You're not mad at me?" he whispered.  
Frowning, you asked, "Why would I be mad at you?"  
"For wasting your time," he answered. He dropped his gaze. "I've wasted so much of your time."  
You just stared at him for a bit before answering, "Spending time with you is never a waste."  
He quickly looked back up.  
You rested your forehead against his. "Arnold Judas Rimmer, I love you. And no amount of failed tests will ever change that."  
He studied your face, looking for a lie. He didn't find one.  
"In the future, would you please tell me when you're feeling like smeg? I can't fix it if you won't let me."  
He hesitated, then blurted out, "I thought you were going to leave me."  
That crashing sound? That was your heart breaking in half.  
You forced a smile past your tears. "Babe, I promise not even death can keep us apart." You gently tapped his H. "You know I regularly back up my personality, too."  
He stared at you in awe. "You really mean that, don't you?"  
"Of course I do," you reassured him.  
Rimmer moved towards you, stopping millimeters from you. You felt his lips brush yours as he said, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."  
"Yes, I am," you agreed with a grin. Then, you kissed him. You could literally feel the rest of the tension melting out of him.  
He pulled back a bit. "Thank you," he murmured. "I love you, too."


End file.
